The Reason
by jesuisl0ser
Summary: Ed Green reflects on what he faces each day as a detective, the partners he's had over the years, and comes to the realization of the true importance of his job. Drabble, oneshot. My first L&O fic. R&R please!


**A/N: Hey, all! Some of you may know me from the Rent section, where I post frequently. This is my first fic centered on one of my favorite TV shows, Law & Order. Enjoy; constructive criticism is welcome, but no flames. Thanks!**

* * *

There's no statute of limitations on murder.

Just the same, there's an unlimited amount of reasons why they could happen, for the sporadic time frame in which they occur at any given moment, why my partner and I find bodies scattered around the streets of New York City everyday…Maybe it's just me, but sometimes, I'm left unable to find a single reason among all the possibilities.

I know what people would say. I'm a homicide detective---it's my job to look death in right in the eyes every single day. It's been almost 9 years since I left the Narcotics Bureau, thinking I had a well enough idea of what I was getting myself into. I was the big-shot; the know-it-all. Yeah, right.

My first partner, Leonard Briscoe, set me straight. I could tell even during my first day on the job that he was a guy who'd been through everything in this job. But his eyes were soft, and there was a certain dazzle about him that I'd never seen in anyone else before. He was a great cop, a role model for me. Lennie was quite the jokester…constantly cracking a joke or muttering a word of sarcasm, even in the most grave of times.

I once asked him how he could possibly make a wisecrack when staring at a disgusting, bloody body on the dirt-covered sidewalk.

"When you've been at this job for as long as I have, Eddie," he said, "You'll realize it's what you have to do. To keep your sanity."

I'll never forget the way he said it, with such blatant honesty. In the five years I knew him, I never understood half as much about Detective Lennie Briscoe as I would have liked. Still, when he retired, I felt like I lost a best friend.

I guess that's why I was less-than-thrilled to meet my new partner, Joe Fontana. I'm known at the Precinct 2-7 for my temper (I really gotta work on that…), and for the cocky attitude I so willingly display if you get on my bad side…but _this_ guy had me beat in that department, for sure. He showed up in his designer suit, silver-gray hair shining with probably expensive hair gel, his expression confident.

I remember looking him up and down as if to say, "Man, you look like you're here to sell a car instead of interview a suspect." My lieutenant warned me to behave and give him a chance. I'm glad I did. Then again, Lieutenant Van Buren is almost always right. Fontana and I made a good team. We were always on the same page, which made interviewing suspects a whole lot easier (and certainly entertaining). He always had my back, and was the kind of guy who would do anything for you if you stayed on his good side. After two years, he was gone, too.

Yeah, it _has_ been almost 9 years. Time goes by fast, don't it? But there are still some cases that leave me lying awake at night, losing the little sleep my schedule allows. I've gazed into the cold, unmoving eyes of a man murdered behind a dumpster on Avenue A. I've held a crying mother in my arms as she screamed for her dead daughter. It's not easy, and sometimes I fall asleep wondering why I ever wanted this job.

That's why I give Detective Nina Cassidy a lot of credit for holding her own, despite the fact that she was the rookie with the bad reputation last year. For the first time, I was considered the "senior detective" of the two of us. Although she may not have realized it initially, I looked out for her. And though she probably would have never wanted to admit it, she listened to me, and from what I got from her, she learned a lot from me. It was nice, having someone take my advice for a change. She was a good kid; very sincere…just really, really green. I feel I helped her, a least a little, hopefully…I wonder where she is now…

For years, I've changed partners like I've changed my underwear. Sometimes, when you're just beginning to connect with and understand someone, they're gone in the blink of an eye. Regardless of how long I worked with them, each has made an impact on me in different ways. They molded me into the detective I am now. I think that being a cop isn't always about being able to stand on your own. It's just as important to absorb and take in what other people give to you throughout your career.

I suppose now that I think about it, I understand why I'm here; why I took this job, why people rely on me and everyone at the 2-7 every day. I said before that there doesn't always seem to be a reason as to why people do the things they do. Why people have to die unjustly.

But that's meant for us to figure out.

"Hey, Ed…Ed!"

My head snaps up to face my newest partner, Cyrus Lupo, as his eyebrows furrow in a questioning glance. Looks like I've been daydreaming for way too long.

"Come on," he says, "We gotta pick up Jensen for questioning." Oh, I can't wait to get a hold of this Jensen guy. He just happened to purchase a plane ticket to California right after the murder of his ex-girlfriend. Ironic? I think so. Lupo and I are gonna have a party with this one.

I nod determinedly, standing to put on my coat. "Meet ya in the car, Loops."

He rolls his eyes at me, unappreciative of my cool new nickname for him.

As I head toward the door, a bunch of questions for the suspect rattle through my head, as I sort out the possibilities and the facts of the case.

This is what I'm here for.

To find the reason.


End file.
